Apology To New Direct Mail Program Clients


 After all the mess that our new program created, we have decided to re-enter the R&D stage to rewrite the sales letter to be “less aggressive.”  Normally, we try to increase the response rates to the call to action, but in this case results were too high, creating chaos at auto dealers and sending towns in an uproar.  I had one dealer tell me that they were losing deals because they had appointments booked all the way through April, with the earliest possible appointment in the first week of May!  This guy dropped 10,000 pieces and got 6.97% response the first week – we stopped counting after that.  The problem is that this dealer only had 4 salespeople and 2 managers.

The amazing thing is that almost 90% of the customers had income above 2k/month and at least some down payment.  My advice to the GM was to weed out the wood and cherry pick the most solid apps first.  His problem was that they were all cherries – bright red ripe cherries.  His fear is that they’d go bad and spoil with age.  I recommended that he hire more salespeople, but since he only carries about 90 units on the ground, he doesn’t have enough inventory.  I mean, it’s a good problem to have – if you aren’t human.  But since nerves and fatigue have become a factor associated with our new program, we’re going to look at how we can reduce the response rates to somewhere around 3%.  I’ll probably send them to higher credit scores, and include “to buy a vehicle today, call 1-900-123-4567” or something like that.

So please be patient while we rewrite the copy.  All pending orders should have been contacted and informed of this delay, but since this blog has a link on our company site, I decided to blog about it to keep everyone informed.  Once again, we apologize for hiring brainiacs with 180 IQ’s for the Hill Marketing Think Tank Project.  We’ll be sure to put restrictions in our next employment ad: “must be of average intelligence – NO GENIUSES!” 

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